You were crazy’s child
Raised in a different kind of wild
When the whirlwind came you rode it out in style
But it took your smile
And it dropped you on a crooked mile
It’s alright I understand
Nothing can be easy when your dealt that hand
Nothing’s ever easy for a fightin’ man
You were the hardest one
You had the hardest time
When your body broke down you kept it running on wine
You got hard to find
But it eased your haunted mind
It’s alright I understand
Nothing can be easy when you’re dealt that hand
Nothing’s ever easy for a fightin’ man
Your so far away
Sitting in your chair at home
Hoping that those thoughts don’t come
This fights not done
And you know you’re not the only one
And It’s alright I understand
Nothing can be easy when you’re dealt that hand
Nothing’s ever easy for a fightin’ man
Fightin’ Man by Willy Tea Taylor
Five years ago I think I watched every Jordan Peterson video that was available. I am a bit embarrassed to confess this but it is true. At the time his ideas were at least new to me. He is coming to Salt Lake City for his tour soon and I will not be attending as I don’t think he has said anything new for a while. One common thing he says is that for a man to be a good man he should be capable of violence and it is impossible for a harmless man to be a good man. That phrase struck a chord. I also heard him say once that when men first meet each other for the first time they consciously or subconsciously size each other up. This did not strike a chord. I thought if I did this it must be subconscious as I didn’t think that I really did.
The “sizing each other up” phrase brings up an image of the hard guy who thinks he’s tough, looking for fights. However I think my thoughts on the matter have changed. I recently had hernia surgery and had an uneventful postoperative course. A few days after the surgery I thought it would be nice to go to the city for dinner with my wife. The thought came to my mind what if some shady guy gets too close for comfort. Something that has never happened to me in my town or the city we go to for date nights. Although I felt fine enough it was clear if something happened I couldn’t have defended myself. The fact that this thought came to my mind surprised me, so perhaps I do size other men up. I thought it was a very odd thought for me.
I’ve never been in a real fight as an adult. The most memorable close call was when I was in Russia years ago with U.S Figure Skating and at the end of the tournament we went out to a Russian pub for dinner. Our team leader, an attractive former ice dancer, spoke a little Russian and another patron overheard. He started getting uncomfortably close to my friend and I yelled, “Hey!” and shook my head at him. A part inside of me was ready for anything and it was a bit of a rush. He backed off and opened his hands out in a “Sorry, my bad” posture. He probably assume she was my date for the night.
Now that time has passed from my surgery I feel that, although I would likely lose in a fight, I could at least hold my own. I’m curious if other men do a Jason Bourne survey of the room for potential dangers? Please reply.
I always assumed most or almost all men do some kind of room survey, consciously or not. For me at least, it isn’t always about the other men around (although often it is), but could also be something as simple as “hmm where’s an exit route in case of a fire” or some other emergency. A lot of it is situational awareness I think. But there is value, I think, in men who are together knowing at some level that physical violence is always at least theoretically possible.